Story: Salome Donkor
Sunday, September 21 would be observed as the International Day of Peace. The day was instituted in September 2001 when the Member States of the United Nations unanimously adopted the first-ever annual day of global ceasefire and non-violence Peace Day. This was after the United Nations General Assembly had passed Resolution 36/67 declaring an International Day of Peace in 1981.
In 2001, the United Nations General Assembly adopted a new Resolution 55/282 declaring September 21 of each year as the International Day of Peace.
The resolution declares that: “The International Day of Peace shall henceforth be observed as a day of global ceasefire and non-violence, an invitation to all nations and people to honour a cessation of hostilities for the duration of the Day...”
As part of activities marking the day in Ghana, the Africa Regional Desk of the Women Peacemakers Programme (WPP), in collaboration with Mothers for Active Non-violence (MOFAN-V) will organise a march for peaceful elections in Accra tomorrow (September 19).
The march, dubbed “Women March for Peaceful Elections”, is to be participated by both men and women from identifiable groups and organisations who will commence the event at the Kwame Nkrumah Circle in Accra through Ring Road to the International Press Centre, where a peace rally and a news conference would be held.
The overall goal of the march is to support public education on the need for political parties in particular and Ghanaians in general to commit themselves to peaceful elections.
It is also to raise awareness on the need for Ghanaians to stand up for peace during and after the elections and to get women actively involved in public peace education.
Ms Euphemia Akos Dzathor, Africa Regional Co-ordinator of the Africa Regional Desk of the Women Peacemakers Programme, said the organisation was committed to peace and advised women to help promote a peaceful election by talking to their husbands, brothers, uncles and friends to watch out for issues that could trigger conflicts and speak out against violent behaviours.
She advised women not to think that elections were only for men, because invariably, women and children were those who bore the brunt of problems emanating from conflict situations that result from violent elections.
Mrs Becky Adda-Dontoh, a gender advocate and President of Mothers for Active Non-violence, said the march was intended to support public education for peaceful election and get women to stand up in support of that cause.
She said by their God-given talents, women were the nurturers of peace and urged more women to get involved in the peace day event.
The world body invites all Member States, organisations of the United Nations system, and non-governmental organisations and individuals to commemorate the event in an appropriate manner, through education and public awareness, and to co-operate with the United Nations in the establishment of the global ceasefire.
Globally, member countries will hold the International Day of Peace Vigil in every house of worship and place of spiritual practice, by all religious and spiritually based groups and individuals, and by all men, women and children who seek peace in the world to encourage the observation of a worldwide peace and non-violence.
Around the world, people will be planting Peace Poles, re-dedicate their Peace Poles, conducting World Peace Prayer Ceremonies, participating in community service projects, and observing the International Day of Peace in service and prayer for peace.
The World Peace Prayer Society encourages participation by all individuals, organisations and schools to commemorate the day in whatever way they feel appropriate, whether that means organising a large programme with thousands of others, or silently taking a moment for peace by yourself. Remember to include the prayer ‘May Peace Prevail on Earth’.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Monday, September 15, 2008
Dealing with conflicts in marriages (Daily Graphic, 09/11/08. Gender & Children’s Page
Article: Salome Donkor
Marriage is about love, pleasure, commitment, understanding and excitement. Life is a bed of roses at the beginning of married life, irrespective of whether it resulted from a love affair or is an arranged marriage.
One begins to notice the subtle changes when the first baby arrives. Marital satisfaction among some couples hits a new low with the arrival of a baby, but it is necessary for couples to understand that this is a normal development that most couples go through and just hang on till it passes.
It is not as if all successful marriages are perfect marriages. Like all other human institutions, conflicts and disagreements are all part of any marriage. A successful marriage is often an indicator of how correctly the couple have handled their conflicts. Everything hinges on how well these conflicts are handled and how soon one is able to solve issues without allowing them to escalate.
A few examples of some recent media reports demonstrate that misunderstandings in marriages and relationships can degenerate into bloody conflicts if not properly handled with care and compassion.
A report in the August 16 edition of the Ghanaian Times said Saul Kofi Campbell, also known as Kofi Carpenter, a coffin-maker, went to the house of his girlfriend, Serbian Amoh, 32, who decided to end their two-year-old relationship and woke her up from sleep under the pretext of discussing an important issue with her. Sabina, a seamstress, was found dead in a pool of blood at a refuse dump.
On August 29, the Daily Graphic carried another chilling story resulting from a marital feud between a woman and her husband.
Ekua Tawiah, the woman who set herself and family ablaze, killing her husband and seven-year-old son, was reported to have refused food and medicine at the Effia-Nkwanta Regional Hospital where she later died after her admission.
The report further indicated that co-tenants revealed that the couple had serious disagreements in the past few months and indeed, just before his death at the hospital, John Mesu, Ekua’s husband, confirmed this to a reporter but said he did not anticipate the action from his wife.
On Saturday August 30, 2008, an Accra Daily published that a man had allegedly killed his wife because he was suspicion of the calls she had been getting on her mobile telephone.
Kofi Mensah, a palm wine tapper, allegedly cut the throat of his wife, Janet Afu, 35, with a cutlass on their farm and then committed suicide by hanging.
The incident happened at Praso, near Tanoodumase in the Atwima-Mponua District of Ashanti Region. The police said the couple had been married for about seven years and had been having some misunderstanding for some time now following Mensah’s suspicion that Janet had been having extra-marital affairs.
One can go on enumerating horrific examples of conflicts in marriages and other relationships that have turned bloody leading to the injury or death of a spouse.
‘Real love in Marriage’, an online journal, identifies the issue of low sex drive verses high sex drive among couples and the tendency of some spouses not to forgive each other, as some of the possible causes of conflicts in marriage.
It also says the root cause of most disagreements leading to a divorce is the desire by a partner in a relationship to show authority, which can cloud a person's judgement so badly that it leads him/her to make irrational decisions which he/she might otherwise not have made.
Conflicts in marriages can result in bitterness that causes pain or grief, such as bitter remarks or the actions of bitter enemies.
Health experts say that most of the problems that cause mental illness in women include depression, anxiety, sexual abuse and abuses that occur in relationships or marriages.
A marriage counsellor and resident Pastor of the Atomic Hills Estate Presbyterian Church, Reverend Dei Awuku, said two issues need to be considered when discussing conflicts in marriages.
He said there are some husbands who for several years stomach a whole lot of problems they encounter in their marriages, because they think that their peers will taunt them when they discuss their marital problems with them.
When they can no longer contain the situation, there is an explosion.
He also said lack of communication among marriage couples also results in conflicts which are difficult to handle.
He stressed the need to make counselling services available to would-be, as well as married couples, who are both in religious marriages and under customary marriage to enhance understanding and peaceful resolution of conflicts in marriages.
Dr Rose Mensah-Kutin, Convenor of the Network for Women’s Rights in Ghana (NETRIGHT), said over the years, because most societies are structured in a patriarchal way, women were trained right from infancy to acquire certain attributes to be a good wife, while husbands were regarded as superior to their wives because they were perceived as the main breadwinners.
She said with education and societal changes, some women are performing roles that used to be performed by their husbands and the notion that men are the sole breadwinner is no longer tenable, consequently, some men feel threatened.
Dr Mensah-Kutin, who is also the African Regional Co-ordinator of ABANTU for Development, said there was the need for married couples to recognise these societal changes and integrate the new things happening in the society into their marriages, while wives also need to help their husbands overcome their chauvinism in order to live in peace.
Mrs Gifty Afenyi-Dadzie, a Member of the Council of State and the National Prayer Director of Women’s Aglow International, said the rampant conflicts in some marriages indicate that “ the Agape love as enumerated in the Bible is missing in relationships”.
She said First Corinthians Chapter 13 says love is patient and kind and keeps no record of wrongs, “but most of us keep records of the wrongs in our relationships and we don’t forgive one another”.
She also said love protects and trusts and it behoves people in relationships to protect and trust one another.
She advised partners to engage in dialogue and persevere when there are problems and practicalise what God says about love.
Another online journal, ‘The Women’s News’, has some tips on dealing with the situation.
It advises couples never to allow what begins as an argument to become a major disagreement and try to solve the problem when it is still at the first stage.
It is not as if every argument or issue can be amicably solved. In fact, some issues may never be resolved even over a period of time – some of the common ones being in-law problems, money and even issues involving the kids. Learning to live with the differences and adjusting to each other will help bind the marriage.
Simple skills when practised regularly can help to stabilise your marriage. Share whatever you like and appreciate about your partner. Learn to share all your hopes and dreams and make him part of your life in every sense. Discuss any changes in plans and situations and keep him in the loop always.
Never let misunderstandings fester or suspicions linger unnecessarily. Clear up the air as soon as possible. If there is something you don’t like, be open and tell him about how you would like to have it done instead of just criticising him.
Fortunately, the cause of conflict in marriage is not a mystery. Couples all over the world are applying the principles of Real Love and discovering a level of happiness they had never before thought possible.
Marriage is about love, pleasure, commitment, understanding and excitement. Life is a bed of roses at the beginning of married life, irrespective of whether it resulted from a love affair or is an arranged marriage.
One begins to notice the subtle changes when the first baby arrives. Marital satisfaction among some couples hits a new low with the arrival of a baby, but it is necessary for couples to understand that this is a normal development that most couples go through and just hang on till it passes.
It is not as if all successful marriages are perfect marriages. Like all other human institutions, conflicts and disagreements are all part of any marriage. A successful marriage is often an indicator of how correctly the couple have handled their conflicts. Everything hinges on how well these conflicts are handled and how soon one is able to solve issues without allowing them to escalate.
A few examples of some recent media reports demonstrate that misunderstandings in marriages and relationships can degenerate into bloody conflicts if not properly handled with care and compassion.
A report in the August 16 edition of the Ghanaian Times said Saul Kofi Campbell, also known as Kofi Carpenter, a coffin-maker, went to the house of his girlfriend, Serbian Amoh, 32, who decided to end their two-year-old relationship and woke her up from sleep under the pretext of discussing an important issue with her. Sabina, a seamstress, was found dead in a pool of blood at a refuse dump.
On August 29, the Daily Graphic carried another chilling story resulting from a marital feud between a woman and her husband.
Ekua Tawiah, the woman who set herself and family ablaze, killing her husband and seven-year-old son, was reported to have refused food and medicine at the Effia-Nkwanta Regional Hospital where she later died after her admission.
The report further indicated that co-tenants revealed that the couple had serious disagreements in the past few months and indeed, just before his death at the hospital, John Mesu, Ekua’s husband, confirmed this to a reporter but said he did not anticipate the action from his wife.
On Saturday August 30, 2008, an Accra Daily published that a man had allegedly killed his wife because he was suspicion of the calls she had been getting on her mobile telephone.
Kofi Mensah, a palm wine tapper, allegedly cut the throat of his wife, Janet Afu, 35, with a cutlass on their farm and then committed suicide by hanging.
The incident happened at Praso, near Tanoodumase in the Atwima-Mponua District of Ashanti Region. The police said the couple had been married for about seven years and had been having some misunderstanding for some time now following Mensah’s suspicion that Janet had been having extra-marital affairs.
One can go on enumerating horrific examples of conflicts in marriages and other relationships that have turned bloody leading to the injury or death of a spouse.
‘Real love in Marriage’, an online journal, identifies the issue of low sex drive verses high sex drive among couples and the tendency of some spouses not to forgive each other, as some of the possible causes of conflicts in marriage.
It also says the root cause of most disagreements leading to a divorce is the desire by a partner in a relationship to show authority, which can cloud a person's judgement so badly that it leads him/her to make irrational decisions which he/she might otherwise not have made.
Conflicts in marriages can result in bitterness that causes pain or grief, such as bitter remarks or the actions of bitter enemies.
Health experts say that most of the problems that cause mental illness in women include depression, anxiety, sexual abuse and abuses that occur in relationships or marriages.
A marriage counsellor and resident Pastor of the Atomic Hills Estate Presbyterian Church, Reverend Dei Awuku, said two issues need to be considered when discussing conflicts in marriages.
He said there are some husbands who for several years stomach a whole lot of problems they encounter in their marriages, because they think that their peers will taunt them when they discuss their marital problems with them.
When they can no longer contain the situation, there is an explosion.
He also said lack of communication among marriage couples also results in conflicts which are difficult to handle.
He stressed the need to make counselling services available to would-be, as well as married couples, who are both in religious marriages and under customary marriage to enhance understanding and peaceful resolution of conflicts in marriages.
Dr Rose Mensah-Kutin, Convenor of the Network for Women’s Rights in Ghana (NETRIGHT), said over the years, because most societies are structured in a patriarchal way, women were trained right from infancy to acquire certain attributes to be a good wife, while husbands were regarded as superior to their wives because they were perceived as the main breadwinners.
She said with education and societal changes, some women are performing roles that used to be performed by their husbands and the notion that men are the sole breadwinner is no longer tenable, consequently, some men feel threatened.
Dr Mensah-Kutin, who is also the African Regional Co-ordinator of ABANTU for Development, said there was the need for married couples to recognise these societal changes and integrate the new things happening in the society into their marriages, while wives also need to help their husbands overcome their chauvinism in order to live in peace.
Mrs Gifty Afenyi-Dadzie, a Member of the Council of State and the National Prayer Director of Women’s Aglow International, said the rampant conflicts in some marriages indicate that “ the Agape love as enumerated in the Bible is missing in relationships”.
She said First Corinthians Chapter 13 says love is patient and kind and keeps no record of wrongs, “but most of us keep records of the wrongs in our relationships and we don’t forgive one another”.
She also said love protects and trusts and it behoves people in relationships to protect and trust one another.
She advised partners to engage in dialogue and persevere when there are problems and practicalise what God says about love.
Another online journal, ‘The Women’s News’, has some tips on dealing with the situation.
It advises couples never to allow what begins as an argument to become a major disagreement and try to solve the problem when it is still at the first stage.
It is not as if every argument or issue can be amicably solved. In fact, some issues may never be resolved even over a period of time – some of the common ones being in-law problems, money and even issues involving the kids. Learning to live with the differences and adjusting to each other will help bind the marriage.
Simple skills when practised regularly can help to stabilise your marriage. Share whatever you like and appreciate about your partner. Learn to share all your hopes and dreams and make him part of your life in every sense. Discuss any changes in plans and situations and keep him in the loop always.
Never let misunderstandings fester or suspicions linger unnecessarily. Clear up the air as soon as possible. If there is something you don’t like, be open and tell him about how you would like to have it done instead of just criticising him.
Fortunately, the cause of conflict in marriage is not a mystery. Couples all over the world are applying the principles of Real Love and discovering a level of happiness they had never before thought possible.
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Looking at the status of women
Article: Salome Donkor
Ghana has a lot to talk about in relation to the enactment of laws, ratification of international treaties and the establishment of rules and procedures for enforcing rights of the child and parental obligations, care and protection of children, as well as the adjudication of judicial and quasi-judicial matters affecting children.
In 1998, Parliament passed the Children's Act (ACT 560) which provided a list of enforceable children's rights and obligations of parents towards their wards.
The United Nations declared 1979 as the International Year of the Child, which was referred to as the 1979 Declaration. The declaration called upon countries, local authorities, civil society organisations and parents to recognise and strive for the protection of the rights of children.
The declaration also influenced the passage of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) and Ghana responded positively to the initiatives of the United Nations in being the first country to ratify the UN CRC.
An Armed Forces Revolutionary Council (AFRC) Decree was passed on August 26, 1979 to establish the Ghana National Commission on Children (which is now known as the Department of Children) and August 31 was declared as the National Children's Day.
The commission is to see to the general welfare and development of children and co-ordinate all essential services for children in the country, with the view to promoting the rights of the child.
The first National Programme of Action dubbed, ‘the Child Cannot Wait’, was developed with set goals that gave a focus to the work by government and civil society organisations to enhance the progress for children in their survival, protection, participation and development.
To protect children against harmful traditional practices the 1992 Constitution included a whole chapter on the rights of a child.
With the passage of the Children's Act, the Ghana National Commission on Children and other public and private stakeholders have the legal backing to fight for the cause of children in Ghana.
Two important events pertaining to the welfare of children were observed in the country at the end of August. Ghana joined the international community to mark the International Day of the Child and the ceremony coincided with the 10th anniversary of the enactment of the Children's Act. The 10th anniversary on the Children’s Act is on the theme: "Children at the Centre of the Children's Act (Act 560)."
The National Children's Day has the objective of creating a platform for stakeholders to deliberate on pertinent issues concerning children and strengthening partnership with child-related agencies to address the concerns of children.
Other policies and programmes backed by legislative frameworks that offer strategies for the protection, survival and development of children in the country include, the 1960 Criminal Code (Act 29), Criminal Code Amendment Act 1998 (Act 554), Juvenile Justice Act 2003 (Act 653), Education Act 1961 that brought into being the Free Compulsory Universal Basic Education (FCUBE) programme and the Human Trafficking Act 2005 (Act 694).
To protect children against the six childhood killer diseases, National Immunisation Days (NID) have been instituted, while free medical care that existed for children under five, has been strengthened by the National Health Insurance Scheme and the free medical care for pregnant women, which took off in July, form part of measures to cater for the health needs of children.
Despite these laudable commitments by various governments to protect the rights and welfare of its children as well as develop its future human resource needs for the country's development, the challenges facing the Ghanaian child are still enormous.
A number of children have no shelter; they live dangerously on the streets and engage in hazardous work such hawking, illegal mining, stone quarrying and carry loads to earn income to fend for themselves. Some parents also engage in child trafficking despite legislations banning the practice while some cultural practices are inimical to the rights and protection of children.
The Director for International Desk (Children) of the Ministry of Women and Children’s Affairs (MOW), Mrs Marilyn Amponsah Annan, says she believes that the government is doing its best to ensure that children’s rights are protected and indicated that parents and guardians need to support the government’s efforts to make these efforts a success.
She said the government has improved infrastructural facilities in schools and also introduced the Capitation Grant and the School Feeding Programme in some schools to lessen the burden of the cost of education to parents and indicated that parents need to play their part by taking their children off the streets and sending them to school stop the children from working to earn income to support the upkeep of the home.
According to Mrs Annan, various programmes have been organised by MOWAC, the Ministry of Manpower, Youth and Employment and the Department of Social Welfare to sensitise parents and guardians to their rights and responsibilities, while a micro-credit scheme is being provided to support unemployed women to empower them economically.
Mr Bright Appiah, a child’s right activist, looked at four areas when asked to assess the 10 years of the operation of the Children’s Act in four areas.
He said in the area of protection, it is true that the law was enacted to protect children but indicated that a lot had not been done to protect children who come into contact with the law and mentioned in particular, lack of adequate protection for children who are defiled and inadequate measures to rehabilitate them
Mr Appiah said in the area of child mortality, the NID is yielding positive results and pointed out that since 2003, no child has died of polio but pointed out that there was the need to put in place measures to protect children with special needs, as well as orphaned and vulnerable children.
He said in relation to the issue of participation, more needs to be done to make children take part in initiation and implementation of decisions that affected their interest.
Mr Appiah pointed out that in looking at the operation of the Children’s Act after 10 years, “we have to look at actualisation of the law with the adoption of comprehensive institutional and administrative arrangements that facilitate effective sharing of ideas and information aimed at ensuring the total development, growth and protection of children.
Ghana has a lot to talk about in relation to the enactment of laws, ratification of international treaties and the establishment of rules and procedures for enforcing rights of the child and parental obligations, care and protection of children, as well as the adjudication of judicial and quasi-judicial matters affecting children.
In 1998, Parliament passed the Children's Act (ACT 560) which provided a list of enforceable children's rights and obligations of parents towards their wards.
The United Nations declared 1979 as the International Year of the Child, which was referred to as the 1979 Declaration. The declaration called upon countries, local authorities, civil society organisations and parents to recognise and strive for the protection of the rights of children.
The declaration also influenced the passage of the United Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) and Ghana responded positively to the initiatives of the United Nations in being the first country to ratify the UN CRC.
An Armed Forces Revolutionary Council (AFRC) Decree was passed on August 26, 1979 to establish the Ghana National Commission on Children (which is now known as the Department of Children) and August 31 was declared as the National Children's Day.
The commission is to see to the general welfare and development of children and co-ordinate all essential services for children in the country, with the view to promoting the rights of the child.
The first National Programme of Action dubbed, ‘the Child Cannot Wait’, was developed with set goals that gave a focus to the work by government and civil society organisations to enhance the progress for children in their survival, protection, participation and development.
To protect children against harmful traditional practices the 1992 Constitution included a whole chapter on the rights of a child.
With the passage of the Children's Act, the Ghana National Commission on Children and other public and private stakeholders have the legal backing to fight for the cause of children in Ghana.
Two important events pertaining to the welfare of children were observed in the country at the end of August. Ghana joined the international community to mark the International Day of the Child and the ceremony coincided with the 10th anniversary of the enactment of the Children's Act. The 10th anniversary on the Children’s Act is on the theme: "Children at the Centre of the Children's Act (Act 560)."
The National Children's Day has the objective of creating a platform for stakeholders to deliberate on pertinent issues concerning children and strengthening partnership with child-related agencies to address the concerns of children.
Other policies and programmes backed by legislative frameworks that offer strategies for the protection, survival and development of children in the country include, the 1960 Criminal Code (Act 29), Criminal Code Amendment Act 1998 (Act 554), Juvenile Justice Act 2003 (Act 653), Education Act 1961 that brought into being the Free Compulsory Universal Basic Education (FCUBE) programme and the Human Trafficking Act 2005 (Act 694).
To protect children against the six childhood killer diseases, National Immunisation Days (NID) have been instituted, while free medical care that existed for children under five, has been strengthened by the National Health Insurance Scheme and the free medical care for pregnant women, which took off in July, form part of measures to cater for the health needs of children.
Despite these laudable commitments by various governments to protect the rights and welfare of its children as well as develop its future human resource needs for the country's development, the challenges facing the Ghanaian child are still enormous.
A number of children have no shelter; they live dangerously on the streets and engage in hazardous work such hawking, illegal mining, stone quarrying and carry loads to earn income to fend for themselves. Some parents also engage in child trafficking despite legislations banning the practice while some cultural practices are inimical to the rights and protection of children.
The Director for International Desk (Children) of the Ministry of Women and Children’s Affairs (MOW), Mrs Marilyn Amponsah Annan, says she believes that the government is doing its best to ensure that children’s rights are protected and indicated that parents and guardians need to support the government’s efforts to make these efforts a success.
She said the government has improved infrastructural facilities in schools and also introduced the Capitation Grant and the School Feeding Programme in some schools to lessen the burden of the cost of education to parents and indicated that parents need to play their part by taking their children off the streets and sending them to school stop the children from working to earn income to support the upkeep of the home.
According to Mrs Annan, various programmes have been organised by MOWAC, the Ministry of Manpower, Youth and Employment and the Department of Social Welfare to sensitise parents and guardians to their rights and responsibilities, while a micro-credit scheme is being provided to support unemployed women to empower them economically.
Mr Bright Appiah, a child’s right activist, looked at four areas when asked to assess the 10 years of the operation of the Children’s Act in four areas.
He said in the area of protection, it is true that the law was enacted to protect children but indicated that a lot had not been done to protect children who come into contact with the law and mentioned in particular, lack of adequate protection for children who are defiled and inadequate measures to rehabilitate them
Mr Appiah said in the area of child mortality, the NID is yielding positive results and pointed out that since 2003, no child has died of polio but pointed out that there was the need to put in place measures to protect children with special needs, as well as orphaned and vulnerable children.
He said in relation to the issue of participation, more needs to be done to make children take part in initiation and implementation of decisions that affected their interest.
Mr Appiah pointed out that in looking at the operation of the Children’s Act after 10 years, “we have to look at actualisation of the law with the adoption of comprehensive institutional and administrative arrangements that facilitate effective sharing of ideas and information aimed at ensuring the total development, growth and protection of children.
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